Pattern language is a combination of the words, metaphors and beliefs that we carry with us throughout life. Often they are subconscious, and many times they are relic beliefs that no longer hold true in our conscious minds.
In coaching, we use pattern language to re-program our clients’ subconscious beliefs so that they begin to manifest a life of fulfillment. That is, we align the underlying belief with the current want or intention.
I was working with a client last week who represents a large majority of the population of corporate America. She carried with her, throughout her life, the belief that conflict is bad. This belief took hold when she was a small child.
As she grew older and experienced life, she found that conflict kept haunting her. From her relationship with her sister, to her relationships at work, and now to her relationship with her partner, conflict had come back time and again to cause her stress and angst.
Her present pattern language was pretty simple: “Conflict is bad. I fear conflict”.
And so when conflict came about, it was always a bad experience for her.
Here is the truth about conflict: Conflict is not so bad. It is with conflict that organizations develop their most creative and profound contributions. It is with confrontation that leaders become more aware of who they are and how they can manage better.
When my client and I explored this together, I heard a profound shift occur. Conflict was no longer the big and scary nightmare that my client once thought it was.
We created a new pattern language: “I can create and contribute to conflict, and still have harmonious relationships”.
With this new pattern language, we have a new sentiment to manifest. Conflict is no longer something to be feared. It no longer equates itself with being unloved and abandoned. It opens the doors to mutual respect, creativity and stronger relations.
Pattern language is the blueprint to your life’s fulfillment. When you tap into your beliefs, and transform them to align with what you desire in life, you begin to manifest the life you want to live.
Give it a try… what belief will you create a new pattern language for