- Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with your work environment, family or both
- Experiencing interpersonal conflict or discomfort with the people you work with
- Feeling like work-life balance is a myth
- Questioning whether you are doing the work you were destined to do
I know how you feel. For the past 10 years I have been working closely with managers in your same shoes, and at one point I was the manager in your shoes. You see, I was a management consultant. Day in and day out I worked with managers to help them drive business results for their organizations. While I was doing that, I was also a manager trying to drive business results for my organization.
I was really great at my work. A high potential manager. On the cusp of tremendous achievement in my career.
But I was unhappy. I experienced conflict with colleagues. I was lonely and sad. I was feeling lost and unable to see through the fog of my circumstance.
All the while I was working with managers who seemed equally as frustrated and under-motivated as me.
So I began doing some research. I read books – a lot of them. I hired coaches – 2 of them! (Yes, I was that challenged).
And I began the journey of learning the fundamentals of life, the tools of happiness, and the unique collection of practices that could bring incredible fulfillment to people in my situation.
Along the journey, I picked up these 5 most common mistakes holding you back from success and fulfillment.
- Being too superficial: Most managers are inclined to barely scratch the surface of what they truly want. Dig deep into your spirit and figure out what drives you. This is the only way to find real fulfillment.
- Putting others first: Most managers subordinate their own needs and desires to satisfy what others need from them. To suppress yourself in this way is the main source of your current challenges. Re-prioritize what you want and move it up the list.
- Believing they don’t have to change themselves: People always ask me if people can change. I believe people don’t really change, they only become better or worse at who they really are. Sometimes that means uncovering skills and qualities that have been buried deep inside. So although you have not really changed, it may appear to others that you have. So my usual answer is, yes, people can change and should change if they want to be happier in life.
- Waiting for others to provide (or making excuses): If you are telling yourself “if only so-and-so would do this or do that”, then you are waiting for someone else to do something for you. The fastest road to frustration is trying to control people, emotions, or outcomes. Now’s the time to control the controllables. That means you and how you perceive the world. No more excuses. Your time is now.
- Pursuing pleasure without pain: The greatest cause of human suffering is the quest for pleasure without pain. The idea that we can be happy and not have to pay some price or face some challenge is a myth.