I often come across people who feel they aren’t moving ahead and they don’t have the support they need to get what they want. Whether it be their next promotion, their next employer, starting a family or anything else, it feels overwhelmingly like the universe is working against them, and everybody is out to keep them stuck in their rut.
There are no olive branches to save them. Nobody coming forward with opportunities. Many of us have experienced it, and some of us have found our way out of it.
And so I probe with those people to find out more. Here are the typical responses:
- "I want a meaningful and progressive career, but I’m making a good amount of money here and I don’t want to lose the benefits my current employer gives me."
- "I really want a promotion, but I’m just not sure if now is the right time… I also really want to start a family."
- "I can’t stand my boss. I have to get away from him. The team really needs me though, and they won’t be able to get by without me. It will leave a big hole."
The Fence Sitter is the person who wants more than one thing, and has acted on none of them.
One of the key commonalities I have found with people who are not manifesting what they want is that they are sitting on the fence between what they want and what they have, or between two apparently conflicting wants. When this happens, it paralyzes us into not doing one thing for fear of sacrificing the other.
Do you recognize yourself yet as a fence sitter? If not, try this. Think about something you really want, but you don’t seem to be able to make happen. Are you hoping for more income? Do you desire to take a course to improve your skills? Is there something you want relating to family, career, physical health or friendships? Write down what it is that you want.
Now think about what might be causing resistance to having it. If you are not doing something to get it, why? What else are you doing or not doing instead? Is there something else that you want equally or more? Write down the one main thing that is holding you back from going after what you want.
Draw a line between the two items you wrote down. That is the fence you are sitting on.
All you need to know to get off the fence is summarized below:
The universe only delivers for people who know what they want, and have made the decision to go after it.
You can make the decision to go after more than one thing. The key is to make the decision now.
Once you have made the decision, two things will happen and you’ll barely even notice it.
1) You will take actions towards making your decision a reality.
2) The actions you take will bring you everything you wanted from both sides of the fence, even if they are unrelated.
So, what fence are you sitting on?