You’re working hard, trying to wrap up the fiscal year, planning for the new year, all the while still having to fulfill your day-to-day job obligations. Let’s not deny it, this is a busy time of year. And if you live in Northerly climates you’re gradually becoming Vitamin D deficient, and maybe less productive… either because you dread the cold (like me), or you’re so excited about ski season you’re spending your time on the internet looking for the right ski goggles to complement your nifty new ski pants from last season. You know… instead of crunching your budget numbers for next year. And then you hear it. The jingle of your email. Lo and behold the annual employee survey….
I thought now would be a good time to lighten up your Fall by providing a few questions you are likely never to see on an employee survey. I hope they put a smile on your face. Enjoy!
10. Which company incident in the last year do you most wish was caught on YouTube?
9. How many of our employees do you feel should maybe think about being more discrete with their Facebook profiles?
8. Which of the following characters is your Direct Manager most like?
7. If the Devil possessed you for a day and you could sabotage just one of our initiatives, which one would it be?
6. Would you recommend working at our company to your enemies?
5. Which of the following TV show families does our office culture most resemble?
4. How many Leadership Team members would it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3. On average, how long do you think it would take for the Leadership Team to develop the “light bulb installation plan”?
2. Who’s rubber or stuffed animal collection do you most want to topple off their desktop?
And the number 1 question you are least likely to see on an employee survey….
1. By how much would you like your compensation to increase next year?
Think about it:
10. Which company incident in the last year do you most wish was caught on YouTube?
9. How many of our employees do you feel should maybe think about being more discrete with their Facebook profiles?
- 0-5
- 5-20
- 20 and higher
8. Which of the following characters is your Direct Manager most like?
- Homer Simpson
- Dr. Gregory House
- Donald Trump
- George W. Bush
- Both 1 and 4
7. If the Devil possessed you for a day and you could sabotage just one of our initiatives, which one would it be?
6. Would you recommend working at our company to your enemies?
5. Which of the following TV show families does our office culture most resemble?
- Hell’s Kitchen
- Survivor
- 30 Rock
- Modern Family
- Glee
4. How many Leadership Team members would it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3. On average, how long do you think it would take for the Leadership Team to develop the “light bulb installation plan”?
2. Who’s rubber or stuffed animal collection do you most want to topple off their desktop?
And the number 1 question you are least likely to see on an employee survey….
1. By how much would you like your compensation to increase next year?
Think about it:
- If you’re smiling right now it’s because you were already thinking it.
- If you’re frowning right now it’s because you’re afraid the likely answers to the above might ring true. In which case you should be smiling that you didn’t ask them!
- If you’re laughing hard right now it’s because you know the answers to the above would inspire some really great change for your organization!