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THE WATER COOLER

On the Verge...

4/11/2025

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So here I am, staring down another big birthday – and honestly? The last few months have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster.

One of my clients who's since crossed this milestone was in the same boat last year. She worked her way through the "stuff" and ended up doing some international travel with some of her favourite people. In the end she breezed right through.

I was working with a lovely new client last week who's turning 40, and shared this quote from Dante's Inferno written around 1314: "Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, For the straightforward pathway had been lost.". She immediately said she'd be sharing the quote with her friends who are around the same age and experiencing similar feelings.

Why? Because that "forest dark" feeling hasn't changed in 700+ years. We're all in this messy human experience together.

Author Bruce Feiler's research (see his book below) found we get hit with big life changes every 12-18 months. Six months before my 40th birthday I moved into the house I'm still living in. In my 40th year my mom died unexpectedly and I lost my job. At 50, I left corporate life and stumbled into coaching and training (which remains the best work transition I've ever made).

Life Throws Curveballs at Us All - on the Regular

Maybe you're:
  • Dealing with job stuff (hate the current one, lost one, need a new one)
  • Getting married (that was me at 46), separating or divorcing
  • Becoming a parent, or perhaps the kids are leaving the nest
  • Parents needing more help
  • Moving houses
  • Or maybe you've hit the "lifestorm" jackpot and got several at once

Need a Friendly Guide Through Your Forest?

I just wrapped up my Navigating Transitions Coach Certification (practicing what I preach) and got my hands on this super helpful tool.

Want to try this Transitional Quotient (TQ) Assessment with me? It's on the house!

Turns out, the assessment questions hit differently when someone reads the questions to you (I was skeptical too, trust me - but I tried it, and I found it to be true). In about 20-30 minutes, we'll figure out what areas of your life are feeling wobbly and get you some clarity.

Let's Grab a Virtual Coffee

During our chat, we'll:
  • Run through this TQ Assessment together
  • Figure out what's really got you stuck
  • Get you some instant clarity
  • See if you might want more support
Life's twists and turns can be a lot, but they're way less scary with someone beside you who gets it.

Schedule your free TQ Assessment here!

​If you're a faithful reader you'll know that I've already recommended Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age which is Bruce Feiler's book. It seems like it makes sense to share it again.

Always be learning,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach
And thank you for being part of the Water Cooler family. We are grateful for you and the work you're doing out there in the world.

Click here to learn more about Darcy
Learn more about The Management Coach here

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Things are changing... 3 steps to help your team/your family/your community keep up

3/19/2025

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A wise person once said, "All management is change management". Indeed! Change is all around us.

Change is a deeply personal journey that unfolds at a different pace for everyone. During times of transformation, we instinctively look to leaders for guidance, clear decisions, open communication, and - this is key - meaningful and compassionate support.

There are 3 stages of change management that can make or break a person’s ability to keep up with any change you want or need to introduce:

Communicate. Absorb. Engage.

Here’s what you need to know: 

Stage 1: Communicate (Then Communicate Again)

- Just as with marketing, it can take 7-12 touches/mentions before someone pays attention to the change you are "selling" (and yes, we are all salespeople - at home, at work and in our communities)
- Frequency, volume, and variety are key
- Say/text/email/Teams it over and over and over again - don't stop saying it until the change actually happens. Truly - once is not enough here.

Stage 2: Absorb

Create space for people to process information and check in regularly.

Instead of asking "Do you have any questions?" try:

- "What do you like about it?"
 "What challenges do you think we'll encounter?"
- "How are you feeling about this?"

These questions will prompt deeper reflection and help surface concerns.

Stage 3: Engage

Provide clear structure for participation:

- Develop well-defined processes
- Set explicit expectations and direction
- Establish meaningful opportunities for feedback and input
With these 3 stages, you don’t have to be the leader (or parent) who fails.

Want some support around a change initiative? The Management Coach can help. Just email [email protected].

RESOURCE FOR YOU:

I just stumbled on a math formula for change: C = D × V × F > R (Change = Dissatisfaction × Vision × First Steps > Resistance)

And here's a link to a piece from the fabulous Conscious Leadership Group that will walk you through an explanation and some questions to ask yourself around transformation. And please, give yourself (and others) some grace here. Extend kindness to yourself as well as others. As the good people at CLG state up front,

"Resistance to change is the human condition".

The Change Formula from the Conscious Leadership Group

Always be learning,

Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

And thank you for being part of the Water Cooler family. We are grateful for you and the work you're doing out there in the world.

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Which would you rather?

10/25/2024

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I was in a coaching call with one of my amazing clients last week when I was reminded of the tension we often place on choosing an either/or solution to the challenges we're facing.

Although I'm the worst person you could possibly choose to have in an improv group (I draw a total blank when lobbed a live imaginary situation), the older I get it's becoming increasingly clear to me that, in most cases, things are not binary, not black or white, not simply option A or option B. 

What lies in the middle? Most of the juice, because the world is - for better or for worse - mostly various shades of grey. I think coaching is a way for us to explore what else is possible (a great question you can use in your world, btw!). And I recognize we don't all work with a coach (although - insert plug for coaching with us here!).

So here are some ideas for you to consider when it comes to expanding options in your corner of the world:

What lies in between the either/or options that may be most obvious to you on first glance?

Try a "yes AND", which is a technique from improv and which can open up some options for you at work, at home and in your community. NOTE: please try to avoid throwing a "but" in here. This small word has a serious tendency to shut down conversations, brainstorming and growth.

Here are some additional questions beyond the much loved "and what else is possible":

Think of the wisest person you know. What would he/she say around this?

How about a practical relative? And a dreamer? Your mom? Your bestie? The most creative person you know?

What are you taking as true in this situation? Is it absolutely true?

What is it time for you to do?

Expand your horizons - because in the end, which would you rather? Limit your options, or increase what's possible? 

​
And I'll wrap up this month with a sliver of poetry from one of my favourites, e.e. cummings:

"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes."
​
Resources for you:

Should you require more evidence as to why "yes" is the way to go, from Lifehack, 12 more reasons to say yes!

Always be learning,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

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3 tips to dial up psychological safety in your workplace

8/15/2024

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A friend and colleague of mine recently facilitated a one day offsite with a dozen senior leaders from a good-sized Canadian organization. One of the topics the group covered over the course of the day was the idea of psychological safety and its role in the workplace. I was somewhat surprised to hear that this came as a new idea to all 12 members of this leadership team. If this concept is new to you too, here's the scoop:

Psychological safety is the idea that team members feel safe to share their thoughts, ideas, and concerns, and make mistakes without fear of being punished, humiliated, or ignored. It creates an environment where people feel safe to take risks, ask questions, and collaborate freely.

And what's the benefit of creating a culture where psychological safety is a part of the mix? Why, higher engagement levels, increased innovation, and better overall team performance, of course - and what leader and team member doesn't want more of all of that?

Here come our top 3 tips to increase psychological safety on your team - regardless of your title:
  • Always be curious and ALWAYS ask more questions. Ask others people what they think. You might just learn something. And ask for help when you need it. In my experience, people (generally) like to help others. 
  • Acknowledge your own mistakes. You don't know everything. When you share that you don't know the answer, or you that you've made a mistake, you give permission for others to do the same.
  • And my current favorite, frame work as a learning problem, not an execution problem. Because not everything we do is rocket surgery. In fact, most glitches are at least somewhat fixable. Because life and work are all part of a grand experiment.

JOIN US! NEW TRAINING PROGRAM FOR YOU 


If you're new to people leadership and could benefit from some scaffolding as you develop your management skills, or you've been at this for a while and are tired of dealing with some of those frustrating and apparently endless people problems, I'm launching a group training & coaching program designed just for you on Friday, September 13.

I would love for you to join us in Essentials: The Manager's Survival Kit program. 

You'll find a small, supportive community of people just like you as you learn 5 top time management techniques, specific ways to develop your leadership EQ, how to lead through change, how to do those performance management conversations that happen twice a year at least with greater ease...all kinds of practical learning.

If this isn't you, there may be someone in your organization or network who's new to people leadership who would benefit so please - I'd love for you to share!

Learn more about Essentials and join us here!


Resources for you:

If you're a TED Talk fan, try this from Amy Edmondson, a Harvard Business School professor and author of The Fearless Organization who coined the phrase “team psychological safety” 25 years ago.

Click here for the Team Psychological Safety TEDx Talk from Amy Edmonston


If you prefer to read, here's a short HBR article from the wonderful Amy Gallo on team psychological safety:

Link to HBR article from Amy Gallo on Psychological Safety


And for something a little more lighthearted, some psychological safety stickers for sale (I'm a particular fan of "We all make mistaks"):

Psychological safety stickers!


Always be learning,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

And thank you for being part of the Water Cooler family. We are grateful for you and the work you're doing out there in the world.
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A summery hodge podge of opportunities and a resource

7/24/2024

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Welcome back to the Water Cooler! This edition will be short and sweet because - well, it's summer and hot and humid where I live in the Toronto (Great White North!) area. So 3 brief messages for you:

1. REMINDER! Last opportunity to register for our free one hour webinar on managing change better later this week (Friday, July 19) to make this volatility a little more palatable and manageable for you and your teams - and also for you and yours on the home front. 

You won't want to miss this - I'll be sharing lots of practical tips and ideas on navigating this VUCA world of ours better, along with a sprinkling of change management theory (trust me, just enough to be helpful - I'm no academic!) and some thoughtful questions to use with your colleagues and team members as you make your way through the change cycle...

And if you know someone who might enjoy this training webinar, please feel free to share the registration link with them. The more the merrier!

HINT: if you're curious about this group coaching thing I'm cooking up for September, this is the kind of content you'll be learning and exploring with your peers - so come check us out. And if you hang in to the end, it may be worth your while if you are contemplating jumping in to the new Essentials program!

So don't miss out - click below to join us on Friday:

Sign me up - I'd like to learn to manage change better!

2. NEW PROGRAM LAUNCHING THIS SEPTEMBER!


And a reminder, if you're new to people leadership and might benefit from some scaffolding as you develop your management skills, I'm developing a group coaching program designed just for you which I'll be launching on Friday, September 13 (which is now only 2 short months away!). Join us for Essentials: The Manager's Survival Kit program.

If this isn't you, there may be someone in your organization or network who's new to people leadership who would benefit.

We'll be covering topics such as time management, developing your leadership EQ, leading through change, performance management best practices...all kinds of practical learning.

Simply hit "Reply" to this email and let me know - a few of you have already jumped in, and I'd love to add you to the list for our launch this fall.


3. RESOURCE FOR YOU

If you're a fan of LinkedIn Learning, or you haven't yet had an opportunity to check it out, it's highly recommended here at The Management Coach. All manner of virtual courses and training are available to you on this platform - AI, cybersecurity, leadership, career planning, accounting, programming - you name it, you'll probably find something here for you on the professional front.

AND, even better - you can access all the content free through your local library. Simply go to your local library website, search for "LinkedIn Learning" and they'll walk you through the steps to get registered and rolling. Enjoy!  

Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

Check out our website here


Connect with me on LinkedIn


​And thank you for being part of the Water Cooler family. We are grateful for you and the work you're doing out there in the world.

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