Welcome back to the Water Cooler!
Have you ever left a job because of your manager? The answer may well be yes. We can debate the percentages, but I can tell you that back when I was still in corporate I left at least two roles because of my manager. Let's not do that if we don't absolutely have to.
There are ways to manage our managers!
Managing your manager successfully requires three essential management skills.
What is Situational Sensitivity?
Situational sensitivity is the skill of being able to read a situation for the dynamics that underlie it. When it comes to managing your boss, that involves understanding and appreciating:
And what about this Style Flexibility idea?
BOLD STATEMENT AHEAD: There's no one style of leadership that is going to serve you in each and every situation with each and every individual you work with.
Style flexibility is key to all leadership - whether you are leading from in front, beside and - in this case - from behind. Let's take a look at the four different management styles that form the 3D Managerial Effectiveness Theory (courtesy of Dr. Bill Reddin), and consider the most appropriate style when working with your manager (and this will of course change over time depending on the situation).
Being proactive (thoughtful and intentional) and NOT reactive is the key here.
Here's what the four styles might look like in the wild...
Developer Style: Best used with a stubborn or strong willed, opinionated manager. Be curious and ask open ended, non-challenging questions until your manager has exhausted all his/her opinions on a topic and arrives at a place of "I don't know the answer to that." This creates an opportunity for collaboration, that gives you the opportunity to state your opinion. You can also use this style to learn more about your manager's situation and gain situational sensitivity. Curiosity is, as usual, your friend here.
Benevolent Autocrat Style: Sometimes managers need to be told what to do. They spend all day being expected to have all the answers, and that can be very stressful. The founder of The Management Coach once had a client who was waiting for a report that his manager had committed to providing him weeks earlier. It was the 11th hour, and her client needed the report. Mary suggested he hijack his next 1-on-1 and simply tell his manager that he would use that time to wait for the report he needed. Her client proceeded to sit in the corner of his manager's office, and worked on his own for an hour while his manager produced the report.
Collaborator Style: We often remind our clients: do not be part of the problem, be part of the solution. When you disagree with your manager, it can be very tempting for you to engage in debate or start to complain - because we are only human. However, that can create stress for your manager, and if you create stress for your boss, you become part of the problem. The collaborator seeks to build on ideas rather than destroy others' ideas. Instead of debating or complaining, see how you can understand the situation more fully and adapt your point of view. "Yes and..." is one approach here.
Administrator Style: This is the style where process and procedure can be helpful. Mary once had an event participant with the following challenge: one of her colleagues was underperforming in her role. Her manager had been contemplating re-orienting that colleague to focus elsewhere so they could get more done as a team, however nothing was happening - this manager wasn't pulling the trigger. Mary suggested that the manager might be struggling to see the path from the current state to the outcome he wanted. "The only path he sees is the one where he's the bad guy, and he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings." She proposed working with him to build the decision-making process that would get him from point A to point B without being the bad guy. Ta da! Focus on and clarify the process, and you just might produce a better outcome for everyone.
Each of these styles is equally helpful, but only when used at the right time. Knowing the right time takes situational sensitivity. You need both.
3. And just where does courage fit into all of this?
Be willing to acknowledge that your manager is human and imperfect, and to set your expectations of them accordingly. Then you need to be willing to expand your own style toolkit so that you behave differently than what you might be used to... and that can be 1. uncomfortable and 2. take courage as you try something new.
NEW PROGRAM ON THE HORIZON!
And a reminder, if you're new to people leadership and might benefit from some scaffolding as you develop your management skills, I'm developing a group coaching program designed just for you which I'll be announcing in the next couple of months.
If this isn't you, there may be someone in your organization or network who's new to people leadership who would benefit.
We'll be covering topics such as time management, developing your leadership EQ, leading through change, performance management best practices...
Simply email me at [email protected] and let me know. I'll add you to the list.
Resource for you:
It's been a while since I shared this resource, so I'm going to share it again right now. Asking more questions will always get you further ahead than thinking you already know it all. Or judging. It will help you with stubborn managers and developing your people. It will smooth some of your relationships with your colleagues. It will help with your gnarly teenage kids, and possibly even your toddlers.
Enjoy!
Download your 50 (+1) Power Questions here
If you're new to people leadership, or you have a manager who's new, we can help - would you like to learn how coaching could support you or one of your team members with a bespoke one on one program?
If it's time to stand out, let's chat. Simply hit "reply" to this email and let's find a time to talk.
Or book a no commitment, 15 minute call with me directly here: schedule a call with Darcy
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach
Have you ever left a job because of your manager? The answer may well be yes. We can debate the percentages, but I can tell you that back when I was still in corporate I left at least two roles because of my manager. Let's not do that if we don't absolutely have to.
There are ways to manage our managers!
Managing your manager successfully requires three essential management skills.
- Situational sensitivity
- Style flexibility
- And, last but absolutely not least, courage
What is Situational Sensitivity?
Situational sensitivity is the skill of being able to read a situation for the dynamics that underlie it. When it comes to managing your boss, that involves understanding and appreciating:
- Your manager's inherent personality
- Your manager's primary work objectives and priorities
- The challenges your manager is experiencing in achieving his/her objectives and priorities
- Your manager's personal stresses
And what about this Style Flexibility idea?
BOLD STATEMENT AHEAD: There's no one style of leadership that is going to serve you in each and every situation with each and every individual you work with.
Style flexibility is key to all leadership - whether you are leading from in front, beside and - in this case - from behind. Let's take a look at the four different management styles that form the 3D Managerial Effectiveness Theory (courtesy of Dr. Bill Reddin), and consider the most appropriate style when working with your manager (and this will of course change over time depending on the situation).
Being proactive (thoughtful and intentional) and NOT reactive is the key here.
Here's what the four styles might look like in the wild...
Developer Style: Best used with a stubborn or strong willed, opinionated manager. Be curious and ask open ended, non-challenging questions until your manager has exhausted all his/her opinions on a topic and arrives at a place of "I don't know the answer to that." This creates an opportunity for collaboration, that gives you the opportunity to state your opinion. You can also use this style to learn more about your manager's situation and gain situational sensitivity. Curiosity is, as usual, your friend here.
Benevolent Autocrat Style: Sometimes managers need to be told what to do. They spend all day being expected to have all the answers, and that can be very stressful. The founder of The Management Coach once had a client who was waiting for a report that his manager had committed to providing him weeks earlier. It was the 11th hour, and her client needed the report. Mary suggested he hijack his next 1-on-1 and simply tell his manager that he would use that time to wait for the report he needed. Her client proceeded to sit in the corner of his manager's office, and worked on his own for an hour while his manager produced the report.
Collaborator Style: We often remind our clients: do not be part of the problem, be part of the solution. When you disagree with your manager, it can be very tempting for you to engage in debate or start to complain - because we are only human. However, that can create stress for your manager, and if you create stress for your boss, you become part of the problem. The collaborator seeks to build on ideas rather than destroy others' ideas. Instead of debating or complaining, see how you can understand the situation more fully and adapt your point of view. "Yes and..." is one approach here.
Administrator Style: This is the style where process and procedure can be helpful. Mary once had an event participant with the following challenge: one of her colleagues was underperforming in her role. Her manager had been contemplating re-orienting that colleague to focus elsewhere so they could get more done as a team, however nothing was happening - this manager wasn't pulling the trigger. Mary suggested that the manager might be struggling to see the path from the current state to the outcome he wanted. "The only path he sees is the one where he's the bad guy, and he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings." She proposed working with him to build the decision-making process that would get him from point A to point B without being the bad guy. Ta da! Focus on and clarify the process, and you just might produce a better outcome for everyone.
Each of these styles is equally helpful, but only when used at the right time. Knowing the right time takes situational sensitivity. You need both.
3. And just where does courage fit into all of this?
Be willing to acknowledge that your manager is human and imperfect, and to set your expectations of them accordingly. Then you need to be willing to expand your own style toolkit so that you behave differently than what you might be used to... and that can be 1. uncomfortable and 2. take courage as you try something new.
NEW PROGRAM ON THE HORIZON!
And a reminder, if you're new to people leadership and might benefit from some scaffolding as you develop your management skills, I'm developing a group coaching program designed just for you which I'll be announcing in the next couple of months.
If this isn't you, there may be someone in your organization or network who's new to people leadership who would benefit.
We'll be covering topics such as time management, developing your leadership EQ, leading through change, performance management best practices...
Simply email me at [email protected] and let me know. I'll add you to the list.
Resource for you:
It's been a while since I shared this resource, so I'm going to share it again right now. Asking more questions will always get you further ahead than thinking you already know it all. Or judging. It will help you with stubborn managers and developing your people. It will smooth some of your relationships with your colleagues. It will help with your gnarly teenage kids, and possibly even your toddlers.
Enjoy!
Download your 50 (+1) Power Questions here
If you're new to people leadership, or you have a manager who's new, we can help - would you like to learn how coaching could support you or one of your team members with a bespoke one on one program?
If it's time to stand out, let's chat. Simply hit "reply" to this email and let's find a time to talk.
Or book a no commitment, 15 minute call with me directly here: schedule a call with Darcy
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach
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