Guest blog: Jane Mims
It seems that over the last two years the polite practice of leaving political opinions outside the office place has gone by the wayside. Ever since 2016 people have felt more liberated to let their political flags fly whether there’s wind blowing or not. It doesn’t really matter if you or I think it’s inappropriate – it’s happening, so now we get to deal with it. Yippee!
We wanted to talk about this now because the recent Supreme Court confirmation hearings stoked the already burning embers. It seems that it doesn’t matter your political leanings; far left, far right, or “couldn’t care less” – it’s impacting a lot of managers who are experiencing tension in the ranks. Instead of simply allowing the unsolicited opinions to go unanswered, co-workers are becoming passionate and outspoken “champions” for “their side.” Obviously this may not be doing any favors for your team’s productivity level.
Personally, I’d like to disable news alerts and any access to the major news networks while people are getting ready for work in the morning, but alas… there’s that pesky little issue of censorship. (Just think about it for a minute, though – can you imagine how much more relaxed everyone would be if we all eliminated news programs while winding up for the day?)
Since that dream of mine can’t come true we have to be more pragmatic. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate managing employee conflict – especially when tempers and emotions are high.
Focus on the Relationship(s)
Managers who are able to focus on their relationship with employees they supervise have a much easier time with this sort of uncomfortable situation than those who are purely focused on outcome. When people are focused on outcome there’s always a winner and a loser because not everyone is going to get the outcome they’re wanting.
Focusing on relationships evens the playing field between people and removes the problem of having a “loser” in the situation. People are at their most productive when they feel understood and respected. All of us want to feel the stability, support, and attention that comes from the personal connection that happens when our communication is relationship based. Relationships are about listening, understanding & finding common ground. Focus on that, and everyone will feel heard and valued.
A big mistake managers make is ignoring the fact that there are people involved – and that people have feelings and needs. They’re too focused on the issue… and not the human individuals who are experiencing it. Providing straight instruction or laying down the gauntlet in this type of a situation may prove momentarily effective, but it’s a really bad game plan for long-term success. That would completely kill morale and damage the trust you have with your team.
If you’re focused on the people, they’ll be more receptive to your guidance.
Set Limits on Behavior
Regardless of the topic, high-conflict people, relationships, and discussions are best managed ahead of time. I like to remind people of the British Army Adage of the “7 Ps” (Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance) or “the best defense is a good offense” when it comes to issues of this sort.
It’s not advised to simply prohibit the discussion of particular topics; that can place you, as the manager, in a very bad dictatorial light.
Live the example in your office place daily by exhibiting the behavior you want your staff to exemplify. Encourage employee expression, celebrate individuality, and let your staff know what the appropriate limits and standards are for that across your organization.
Some companies choose to set limits with dress codes, codes of conduct, or through “Mission, Vision, and Purpose” statements. If your company doesn’t have guidelines, you may want to visit with your friendly HR professional and create some.
Respond Early
A big mistake managers make when there’s a disconnect (or heated intersection) on their team is waiting to see if it “works itself out.” Guess what? That does not work.
This type of thing usually does not de-escalate on its own, so plan ahead for an appropriate response that can be given swiftly.
For first-time offenders and situations you don’t see as on-going, provide a brief, informative, balanced but firm response. If the person involved has been an issue in this way before, a more formal response may be in order: a memo or write-up of some sort to communicate that you mean business. That also protects you in case future issues arise calling for further disciplinary action.
Avoid Escalation
Stay removed from the actual issue. The topic of argument or disagreement really doesn’t matter. By the time this event reaches you, it’s no longer about a difference of opinion; it’s about appropriate behavior, morale, and efficiency in the workplace. The fact here is it doesn’t matter who has what opinion; now that you’re involved – it’s a new conversation. The conversation is about what is and what is not appropriate to do, say, or express at work.
Pay full attention to the concerns of each person involved, and show empathy when you can. This will help disarm the difficult employees and help them feel understood; oftentimes that’s all they want in the first place but they lack the ability to verbalize that need while their emotions are high.
Keep Cool
Make sure your own emotions are in check when you take action. Regardless of the conflict in question, managers are people too. Well, most of them anyway.
When a manager brings her own anger, frustration, judgment, or whatever negative thought process involved to the situation it does not help the situation improve. Remember that you shouldn’t try to fight fire with fire.
Keep Accountability Intact
Regardless of the personnel issues you face, it’s imperative your policies, procedures, and any consequences detailed within them are upheld at all times. If exceptions for individual circumstances or employees are made, it opens the door for employees to challenge just about everything. Stay steady, strong, fair, firm and progressive.
From a management perspective, all discussions should be followed-up with a written response to document the conversation and outline the clear, written expectations. If you don’t follow up with clear directions, it’s easy for confusion to follow. Also, providing clear directions to close the loop empowers you during repeat situations.
One of my clients always says “adulting is hard.” She’s right, it is. Managing is even harder, so stay positive and let us know when we need to jump in to help.
Personally, I’d like to disable news alerts and any access to the major news networks while people are getting ready for work in the morning, but alas… there’s that pesky little issue of censorship. (Just think about it for a minute, though – can you imagine how much more relaxed everyone would be if we all eliminated news programs while winding up for the day?)
Since that dream of mine can’t come true we have to be more pragmatic. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you navigate managing employee conflict – especially when tempers and emotions are high.
Focus on the Relationship(s)
Managers who are able to focus on their relationship with employees they supervise have a much easier time with this sort of uncomfortable situation than those who are purely focused on outcome. When people are focused on outcome there’s always a winner and a loser because not everyone is going to get the outcome they’re wanting.
Focusing on relationships evens the playing field between people and removes the problem of having a “loser” in the situation. People are at their most productive when they feel understood and respected. All of us want to feel the stability, support, and attention that comes from the personal connection that happens when our communication is relationship based. Relationships are about listening, understanding & finding common ground. Focus on that, and everyone will feel heard and valued.
A big mistake managers make is ignoring the fact that there are people involved – and that people have feelings and needs. They’re too focused on the issue… and not the human individuals who are experiencing it. Providing straight instruction or laying down the gauntlet in this type of a situation may prove momentarily effective, but it’s a really bad game plan for long-term success. That would completely kill morale and damage the trust you have with your team.
If you’re focused on the people, they’ll be more receptive to your guidance.
Set Limits on Behavior
Regardless of the topic, high-conflict people, relationships, and discussions are best managed ahead of time. I like to remind people of the British Army Adage of the “7 Ps” (Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance) or “the best defense is a good offense” when it comes to issues of this sort.
It’s not advised to simply prohibit the discussion of particular topics; that can place you, as the manager, in a very bad dictatorial light.
Live the example in your office place daily by exhibiting the behavior you want your staff to exemplify. Encourage employee expression, celebrate individuality, and let your staff know what the appropriate limits and standards are for that across your organization.
Some companies choose to set limits with dress codes, codes of conduct, or through “Mission, Vision, and Purpose” statements. If your company doesn’t have guidelines, you may want to visit with your friendly HR professional and create some.
Respond Early
A big mistake managers make when there’s a disconnect (or heated intersection) on their team is waiting to see if it “works itself out.” Guess what? That does not work.
This type of thing usually does not de-escalate on its own, so plan ahead for an appropriate response that can be given swiftly.
For first-time offenders and situations you don’t see as on-going, provide a brief, informative, balanced but firm response. If the person involved has been an issue in this way before, a more formal response may be in order: a memo or write-up of some sort to communicate that you mean business. That also protects you in case future issues arise calling for further disciplinary action.
Avoid Escalation
Stay removed from the actual issue. The topic of argument or disagreement really doesn’t matter. By the time this event reaches you, it’s no longer about a difference of opinion; it’s about appropriate behavior, morale, and efficiency in the workplace. The fact here is it doesn’t matter who has what opinion; now that you’re involved – it’s a new conversation. The conversation is about what is and what is not appropriate to do, say, or express at work.
Pay full attention to the concerns of each person involved, and show empathy when you can. This will help disarm the difficult employees and help them feel understood; oftentimes that’s all they want in the first place but they lack the ability to verbalize that need while their emotions are high.
Keep Cool
Make sure your own emotions are in check when you take action. Regardless of the conflict in question, managers are people too. Well, most of them anyway.
When a manager brings her own anger, frustration, judgment, or whatever negative thought process involved to the situation it does not help the situation improve. Remember that you shouldn’t try to fight fire with fire.
Keep Accountability Intact
Regardless of the personnel issues you face, it’s imperative your policies, procedures, and any consequences detailed within them are upheld at all times. If exceptions for individual circumstances or employees are made, it opens the door for employees to challenge just about everything. Stay steady, strong, fair, firm and progressive.
From a management perspective, all discussions should be followed-up with a written response to document the conversation and outline the clear, written expectations. If you don’t follow up with clear directions, it’s easy for confusion to follow. Also, providing clear directions to close the loop empowers you during repeat situations.
One of my clients always says “adulting is hard.” She’s right, it is. Managing is even harder, so stay positive and let us know when we need to jump in to help.
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