Thank you for joining us around the Water Cooler this month.

This will be a super short - and early - edition of the newsletter. Why? Because Covid finally caught up with me (3 weeks and counting), and October and November have been a whirlwind on the coaching and webinar hosting front. 

Just popping in to remind you that there's still time for you to sign up for this month's exclusive webinar which is happening on this Friday (the day after tomorrow) at 12:30 pm Eastern.

Sign me up! I want to conduct performance reviews better

If a performance review meeting is on your horizon, please join us for our second 45 minute lunch and learn webinar full of tips and recommendations for conducting (and participating in) performance reviews with greater ease and increased confidence.

Bring your questions and your biggest challenges. And I'll be providing each attendee with an executive summary following our workshop.

We will be Zooming again, which means there will be opportunity to interact with one another - if you're so inclined, of course. Let's start connecting members of this network of amazing people! Please join us...

Click here to register for Better Performance Feedback Conversations

Resources for you:

While I'm waiting for a 50% Black Friday discount on Calm (an app), I do believe you can nab it for 40% off right now. Why Calm?

Lots of us have challenges sleeping when there's a lot on the go. Or focusing our minds. Calm offers up readings to help us get to sleep (the free one is Stephen Fry) and stay asleep. There's a white noise option to help us focus along with wide variety of other soundscapes. Another part of Calm's offering is a multitude of guided meditations if you're so inclined (some super short options here to get you started if you're curious).

A similar app is Insight Timer which I've been using for years. There's a paid version, but I've stuck with the free (because I'm half Scottish and my father was an accountant) and it's been super helpful over the last few years - especially when it's time to put my head down for some concentrated work.

I head to the Timer section, select an Ambient sound (I personally love Lucid Dream and Limitless but there are rain showers and nature sounds as options for you as well) and add in a few bells. I've used it so often I'm like Pavlov's dog. As soon as I hear the music/sound I get right to work.

Check them out on the app store from your phone. And let me know what you think!

If you're new to people leadership, we can help - would you like to learn how coaching could support you as you grow your career in a bespoke one on one program?

If it's time to stand out, let's chat. Simply hit "reply" to this email and let's find a time to talk. Or book a no commitment, 15 minute call with me directly here: schedule a call with Darcy

Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

Check out our website here

Connect with me on LinkedIn

​And thank you for being part of the Water Cooler family. We are grateful for you and the work you're doing out there in the world.

If you've been coached by me for any length of time or been on a previous webinar, you may have heard me share the idea that "a complaint is a poorly worded request".

The first time I heard this you could have knocked me over with a feather. Just - wow. Like many of us, I'm a complainer! Always have been (as my little sister and Sweetie can attest). So please trust me when I say this is just as potent and alive for me as it may be for you.

Now. How do you work with this idea and turn a complaint into a positive? If you are clear on what you DON'T want, consider how you can flip it, be brave and ask for what you DO want instead. (And a plug for coaching here - your coach can help with this).

Life is easier (I promise) when you're clear on what you want and/or need. Becoming more proactive means fewer opportunities for misunderstanding. And who couldn't use a few less muddles?

And look. Let's be real here. Just because you ask for what you want doesn't mean you'll always get it. But...(and I've learned this the hard way over time as well), it's often the case that "don't ask, don't get".

When you're clear on what you need from your team member(s) and your manager, your ability to deliver on your accountabilities and be successful in the work you do will increase. Dramatically.

Which leads us into the topic for November's upcoming webinar...
​
Not only are we starting the inevitable slide into the holiday season and the end of 2023, but for a number of you 'tis also the season for year-end performance review conversations - either as a leader or as a team member. 

​Sign me up! I want to conduct performance reviews better

If a performance review meeting is looming for you, please join us at 12:30 pm Eastern on Friday, November 10 for our second 45 minute webinar on tips and recommendations for conducting performance reviews better. Bring your questions and your biggest challenges. And I'll be providing each attendee with an executive summary following our workshop.

We will be Zooming again, which means there will be opportunity to interact with one another - if you're so inclined, of course. Let's start connecting members of this network of amazing people! Please join us...

Click here to register for Better Performance Feedback Conversations

If you're new to people leadership, we can help - would you like to learn how coaching could support you as you grow your career in a bespoke one on one program?

​If it's time to stand out, let's chat. Simply hit "reply" to this email and let's find a time to talk. Or book a no commitment, 15 minute call with me directly here: schedule a call with Darcy

​Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

On the Shelf (or possibly an open tab on my laptop):

​Check out this infographic that I swiped off of LinkedIn from Jean Marie DiGiovanna who in turn shared it via Whole Hearted School Counseling. It will give you a few ideas for flipping the script on some pretty typical professional and personal complaints. And a hint here: consider that some of these may be overused strengths.

And thank you for being part of the Water Cooler family. We are grateful for you and the work you're doing.

​It's somehow already the middle of June, and we're approaching the midpoint of the year. Which means (for some of us at least) tis also the season for performance reviews - if you're a people leader you may be giving them, and hopefully you're also on the receiving end of some thoughtful conversation about what you're doing well, where you could use some support, and a manageable number of goals.

​And there are ways to make these conversations feel less like a trip to the dentist!

In an ideal world, the best performance development conversations are designed to help bring out the best in each and every team member. And they happen most easily and successfully when both parties have given some thought to the conversation and come prepared to dial up both their listening skills and their curiosity.

At their best, performance conversations have the biggest impact when they're a two way street with both parties engaged.

First things first. Preparation. 

Begin with the end in mind. Whether you're on the giving or the receiving end of a performance review, spend some time thinking about what you would like the other person to know before you have the conversation.

Where have you (or your team member) knocked it out of the park over the last few months? And where (if you're being honest) have you (or your team member) struggled a bit? And what sort of support from you (or your manager) might help going forward.

Don't overwhelm yourself, or your team member, by reviewing a laundry list of the good/bad/ugly things from the last 6 months (or possibly even longer).

Hit the highlights, group your ideas into themes - and if you're not already doing this, I'd invite you to start giving people feedback in real time going forward. For example, after a great meeting take someone aside and tell them exactly and specifically what you liked about how they showed up.

If you're a manager, consider a start/stop/continue approach. What one thing could your team member start doing, stop doing and continue doing that would have the biggest impact on their performance over the next few months?

Less telling, more listening. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason! And please don't assume your team member will take your suggestion/requirement immediately onboard. This needs to be a conversation - a negotiation, if you will. Clarity and alignment is critical when it comes to setting goals.

If you're having your review and you don't understand what's being shared or why it matters, ask for clarity. And specifics. As in "what would success look like when it comes to (fill in the blank)".

And one last thought here: remember that we all have blind spots, and that perception (and perspective) are reality. Consider these statements:

How I see me:  Shy | Passionate | High Standards | Strong Willed | Quirky
How you may see me: Aloof | Emotional | Hypercritical | Stubborn | Annoying

​You say potato, I say patato. Both may be equally true! Because - well, people are complicated. Which is what makes this work thing we're doing together all the more interesting, to say the least.

I'm going to stop there for now - I've got lots more ideas, but I don't want to send you, Dear Reader, into overwhelm.

I would love to hear from you, however. Have you got a particular performance review challenge or question? Simply hit "reply" to this newsletter and tell me more. I promise to respond. And if you or your team could use some training on this, we'd love to help. Let's do this better!

Many thanks,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach
Check out our website here
Connect with me on LinkedIn

​On the Shelf:
Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust - how's that for a title for a useful book? A lovely woman I worked with years ago recently gifted me this small (it comes in at around 100 pages) yet mighty tome from Adam Kahane which I'd not come across before.

At some point or another we've all had to work with people we don't particularly care for, or see eye to eye with. How can we collaborate better? Adam's got some ideas from decades of social enterprise work with international communities in places like South Africa, Columbia, Israel, Thailand - countries where there are lots of different and often opposing views as to the best way forward.

He's honest about some of his failures, and happy to share what he's seen work most successfully. One idea I particularly like is to listen for possibility rather than certainty - because my story is not the only true story. Back to my potato/patato point above.
Collaborating with the Enemy is a quick read (which I like - because I think most business books are far too long and could be summed up in a page or two) - and powerful.

Welcome back to the Water Cooler! This month, a great question for each of us to consider on an ongoing basis. We're into May of 2023 this year. What is the year and your life demanding/asking/requesting of you - so far?

Is now the time for you to play big, or is now the time for you to play it safe? It's not necessarily binary, either. If you've been hanging out on the skinny branches taking chances and stretching yourself, perhaps now is the time to play it safer. It can be tiring hanging out on the learning/growing edge. Sometimes we need to pump the brakes, or even just lift our foot off the gas for a while while we gather our resources for the next push.

If on the other hand you've been hugging that tree hard, maybe there are one or two places in your corner of the universe where you could be a bit bolder. Take something more of a (calculated) risk in order to grow, challenge yourself and serve your people even better.

I had a lovely client I'll call Susan a while back. We worked together for over a year and I was thrilled when I stumbled on the perfect Christmas gift for her. I'm pretty terrible at finding gifts for people, so believe me when I find something good, it goes into the "thrilled" category. It was a mug with the word "BOLD(ER)" on it. 

What was great about this mug? Susan was never going to be a bold person. She's a quiet, thoughtful powerhouse of a petite human. But was the situation she found herself in in her workplace requiring her to be bold(er)? Absolutely. So a perfect reminder for her around how she wanted/needed to show up in order to better serve her team and her organization.

If I were gifting you a mug this month, which one would you rather? And which one do you need? The Big(ger), or the Safe(r)? Maybe you'd even like one of each...

I would love to hear from you - what's your world requiring of you of late? Simply comment below and let me know!

Many thanks,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach
​
Check out our website here
Connect with me on LinkedIn

On the Shelf:
A career coaching client espied a copy of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance on the bookshelf behind me during a Zoom call, and asked me what I thought of it. I saw the author Angela Duckworth speak at a Rotman event back in the before times. According to her research, grit is not a fixed attribute. I'm not 100% convinced, but give it a read if you're interested - Ms. Duckworth is a very well-educated researcher with degrees in neurobiology, neuroscience and psychology from Harvard, Oxford and the University of Pennsylvania.

There's a chapter on parenting for grit which may be helpful for you if this is something you're working on with your children. While I don't have kids, both my parents but particularly my mother encouraged my sister and I to be independent and to figure things out - which likely contributed to my acute level of determination - and my general level of grittiness. It's that nature/nurture thing again...

At any rate, lots of ideas to explore. Enhancing your level of grit may help you in developing your bold(er) muscle...

Welcome back to the Water Cooler! This month, we're considering your network.

I'm going to use that bad word, networking, for just a moment. So many of us cringe when we hear that word. Why? Because we've all had lots of interactions with people who are in it for themselves. You know the ones I mean - the people who talk about themselves, hand over their business cards (at least in the before times), and say "let's have lunch".
Or those annoying LinkedIn contacts who want to connect and then immediately start in with the pitch messages. Ack!

So let's not use the dreaded "networking" word and instead consider the lens of "relationship building" instead. How does that one simple shift change your perspective on this?

I once had a conversation with someone who claimed she didn't like networking and avoided it at all costs. And then I asked her about the dinner plans she had made with someone she'd known for a while through work and was looking forward to reconnecting with. That's networking too, I observed. And then silence ensued...

I can hear you groaning (at least a little) from here. I don't have time for this! I've got kids, elderly parents, choir practice, hockey - you name it. And that's okay! Dinner with everyone you've ever spoken to is not part of the approach here. Also, please know that "networking/connecting" is the first thing to drop off people's to do lists when they're busy. 

Relationship building is a marathon, not a sprint. Why? Because at its heart networking is all about relationships. And relationships take time.

And we've got options when it comes to connecting with others. If you're an extrovert, you might just love heading to that big bash of 500 people in a hotel ballroom and making a whole bunch of new friends. If you're an introvert, you likely prefer the deeper conversations that come from more intimate one-on-one conversations over a coffee or a meal.

How about we start with this question:
Who are two of your super connectors (you know, those people who know literally everyone in your sphere of influence, in your industry or in your organization)? You know two at a minimum and more. Mentors. Friends. Old work colleagues. Family members.

Have you checked in with them lately? Do they know what you're up to? A quick email or text is all that's required, depending on what you're looking for. 

Finally, consider this: who's MISSING from your current network? Who's someone you'd be curious to learn more about? Be bold(er!). Reach out for a 15 minute chat with someone you've never met. People love to talk about themselves and the work they do.

I would love to hear from you - how will you leverage some of these ideas? 

Many thanks,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

Connect with me on LinkedIn

On the Shelf:
I'm including a link to a short piece from the Harvard Business Review on learning to love networking. The author, Francesca Gino, is a behavioral scientist and the Tandon Family Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School. No promises on the love front from me, but I do endorse her tips!

https://hbr.org/2016/05/learn-to-love-networking

​Because business = people. No people, no business. Community = people. No people, no community. Family = people. No people, no family.

This life thing is all about the people. And connection...Enjoy!