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  • Home
  • Services
    • Management Coaching
    • Team Coaching and Facilitation
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    • Our Bookshelf
  • About
    • Our Company
    • Our Coaching Team
  • Testimonials
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THE WATER COOLER

Are you above the line, or below the line?

3/15/2023

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Welcome back to the Water Cooler! This month, we're taking a look at a powerful resource from the Conscious Leadership Group.

It's a one page tool called "Locating yourself: Above or Below?". I keep a copy taped to the bookshelf behind my desk and refer to it often - both for my clients and myself. 

What does it mean to be coming at things from "above the line"? In short: open, curious and committed to learning.

What do we find when we look at what shows up in the "below the line" category? A mindset that is closed, defensive, and committed to being right.

In a conversation, in a meeting, in a relationship - are you showing up from a place that's above the line, or below the line?

The best - and most aware - of us come to people and situations from above the line.
And let me tell you, most us come from below the line a good part of the time. 

Why is that? We're not bad people, we're simply human. Our brains are designed to scan for threats. Our amygdalas (the ancient part of our brains) are wired for critical survival instincts. If we were wrong about that sabre-toothed tiger and how fast it was moving, we could very quickly become dinner.

And now? This old wiring serves us less and less as we face fewer physical threats. So instead of helping us, this part of our brains sees interpersonal threats as black and white situations. We become convinced that we're right. We start playing the blame game. We get defensive, and then we shut down. 

Nobody really wins in that scenario. With intention and practice we can be better, and do better for our organizations, our families and our communities.

What's so useful about this tool? Once you see the list of statements, behaviors and beliefs on either side of the line, you can - pretty much instantly - situate yourself. Once you know where you're at, you have the option to consider where you may have gone off the rails, and decide what your next steps will be as a result.

Curious? Download your copy here.
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I would love to hear from you - how could you leverage these ideas? Simply hit "reply" to this newsletter and let me know!
Many thanks,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach
Check out our website here
Connect with me on LinkedIn

On the Shelf:
What I appreciate about The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership from some of the good people at the Conscious Leadership Group is that the authors fully acknowledge that many of the ideas they cover come from others - because there really is "nothing new under the sun". However, it's all in the approach - and the packaging.

There is a significant amount of good content here that you can dip in and out of. For example, one of the 15 commitments is "Eliminating Gossip". Imagine a world where we were able to do that!

You'll find a summary at the end of each chapter which highlights the main ideas, and other resources at the end of the book.


Check out additional website resources including videos and other tools from the Conscious Leadership Group.
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Lots to chew on here - enjoy.

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Two Questions for You

2/15/2023

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This month we've got two interesting questions to consider adding to your toolkit.

Dr. Susan David is a psychologist and instructor at Harvard Medical School, and the author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life.

She sends out a newsletter I quite like, and last week's was particularly insightful.

Dr. David shared two questions for you to ask yourself before you launch into conversations:

1. What do you have to learn from the person you're talking to? Shifting from certainty to curiosity creates openness and space in conversations and exchanges. And who knows - you might just be surprised! This question applies even (or perhaps even particularly) to your obstinate, uncommunicative teenager, or your most challenging employee or work colleague.

2. How can you help this person? Warmth is what happens when you come at people through this perspective. We humans are wired to help.

Sweetie and I went out to see A Man Called Otto at the theater over the weekend - even grumpy Otto couldn't help himself when it came to helping others. In fact, in Otto's case this ancient wiring we all have (humans are tribal animals, after all) may have even saved his life. And, by the way, if you haven't already had the pleasure, I highly recommend seeing the film. Tom Hanks was reliably wonderful, and actress Mariana Treviño who played his neighbor Marisol was a delight.

Bottom line: these two simple questions are great for shifting our perspective, and with practice can lead to all kinds of great outcomes. Kind of awesome, really.

We coaches are big question fans. If you'd like more questions to experiment with, hit reply and I'll happily send you our top 50 list of questions. A great resource for you - and we'd love for you to share with your colleagues if you find it useful.

On the Shelf:


It just so happens we're recommending Susan David's book on emotional agility this month! She explores how to shift from emotional rigidity to emotional agility, and what we can gain as a result - a life well lived. As she shares, "Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life."

Let's be clear here - this thing Dr. David calls emotional agility is not a science, this is an art and a practice. We are each a work in progress. We all have people and situations in our lives that can throw us for loops from time to time.

Lots of good practical tips here to take with you into your workplace, home life and community. Enjoy!

Many thanks,
Darcy & the team at The Management Coach

ps if you've got a book or a resource you love, we'd love to hear from you! Let us know here at darcy@themanagementcoach.com.


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Welcome (back!) to the Water Cooler from The Management Coach

1/18/2023

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Good morning, and welcome (back) to the Water Cooler! I've just learned something new - something told me to double-check, and sure enough water cooler is not one word but two. Always be learning!

Let me quickly introduce myself - I'm Darcy Roberts. As of January 1, I took over ownership here at The Management Coach from Mary Legakis-Engel, who launched this coaching and leadership development company in 2010.

I left corporate in 2015 after a mid-life crisis in the Sahara (there's a story there) and almost immediately thereafter discovered coaching. Got my training, and I've been a coach with The Management Coach since 2016. When the opportunity came up to buy the business last year, I had to jump on it! I love my work here and especially my clients. I've had the privilege to work with some super smart, talented, lovely people over the years, and I'm looking forward to serving more of you in the months and years ahead.

We'll be sending out a newsletter to you on a monthly basis, and our goal is to make it short, sweet and above all useful for you. You're busy! And heaven knows you get a lot of email. 

Time management, situational leadership, career transition, managing your influence and impact in the workplace and beyond, networking, performance management - you name it, if it has to do with doing work and life better, we have a view and we're here to help.

Stay tuned - lots of good tips and tricks heading your way starting in February. In the meantime, if you're curious, we've started updating our website:
You'll find us here!

And please message us anytime - just hit reply to this email. There's a real human on the other end! And we are here to serve. 

​Many thanks, Darcy and the team at The Management Coach

ON THE SHELF

I recommend this book to pretty much every client I work with. Seven simple questions that will turn you into a better leader and all-round human being! It's a quick read - and powerful.

You can't judge and be curious at the same time - you'll learn more from being curious, and asking more questions, than you ever will from judging. The more curiosity you bring to your conversations the richer they will be.

​Enjoy!

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Darcy Roberts, PCC takes the helm at The Management Coach

12/5/2022

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​The Management Coach has announced that Darcy Roberts will be taking ownership of The Management Coach effective January 1, 2023.

Darcy Roberts has been an Executive and Life Coach since 2015, and an integral member of The Management Coach team since 2016. Darcy brings with her more than 20 years of administrative experience across a variety of industries including the arts, law, finance, banking & executive search, and

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Why you should NOT change your title from CEO to CVO

5/15/2021

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A client of mine recently shared with me a 3-minute video by Simon Sinek describing why the title CEO needs to be changed to CVO - Chief Vision Office. I'm going to take the next 5 minutes to describe to you why that's a bad idea.

In Sinek's video, he suggests that the primary function of the CEO is to set the Vision. That's where he gets it only 20% right. 

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